I’m alive…

…in that raw, taken off the sedatives and painkillers way. No more piles of workbooks to get buried underneath. Why pretend it’s any other way, why not admit that I don’t even have an idea anymore what I’m praying for when I get submerged in the cool waters of the sacred pool. I fall back to the words I learnt as a child, the only ones I remembered when I thought I would die. And maybe it is all right, could never go wrong to pray for forgiveness and protection from evil.

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Yes, I love going back to this place, with its centuries of history, the memories of so many hopes and prayers by millions of people, and for a moment I feel truly blessed. This place and me, we also have a history. I never got what I prayed for, at least not in the way I had hoped. Still trying to understand things that are far greater than me. I cannot give up on this place and its powers.

And then I take the same photos over and over again, and never seem to get bored.

But of course I love my kid pictures the best 🙂

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And then there are the details.

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Lost in the details, and missing the big picture, does it sound like me?

 

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2 thoughts on “I’m alive…”

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