I really didn’t like Varkala at first, but in the end, I made my peace. Kerala is actually nice – people live in real houses, don’t walk around in their excrement and litter, completely nice and civilised and actually reminding me of rural southern Thailand a lot. But there are no outstanding sights, just really pretty little things that shouldn’t make it a destination. Anyway, at least I saw some of it, and at that time, I needed it, a different India, just to know that there are so many things still out there.
And then I came home to Thailand and collapsed, I don’t have an ounce of spare energy left, nothing. I’m still very sick. And still no lab results.
This blog, this trip, this whole idea that I can function as a human being even when I don’t have a job to ground me and use me up completely – it’s ridiculous. And I should have known. Probably I knew. I don’t exist on my own. I’m nobody. Thin air.