Nervewrecked

…nothing  specific or special – just the usual confusion – and I am homesick, for a home, somewhere, anywhere – don’t feel like travelling, going anywhere because I can’t share any of it with anyone – and really wondering, where did all my dreams go, of going to Vietnam and the Philippines and China and Borneo and….

….so I’m here in Chiang Mai, still struggling with the effects of my infections from India – hardly any energy to go round and do things, even though there is a long list of errands still to do, my entire boxed-up Thai life to go through, and only a week left until my visa-free stamp kicks me out of the country….

… the pictures are from one of my last road trips, in December 3 years ago, when I ended up having to buy gloves and a new hat, besides my scarf, up in the mountains near Arunothai and Doi Angkhang….

… I should go back to some of these places, but I’m so alone, and I’m like, what’s the point…. if only he could be here with me, to share it all….

…the funny thing about the cold season is of course that that’s when oranges grow, and all the exotic flowers I know from Europe, from my childhood, all our bright and colourful summer flowers….

…the mountains are always hilltribe territory, and attract a huge crowd of Thais, hardly any foreigners here, they will know I’m “local”, others don’t make it to these little places, even though clearly marked on the maps and have good roads…

 

…and of course, in December, sakura and sunflowers are all the rage…. but I was about a week late…