Nope, I haven’t been entangled into a time warp, unfortunately; these photos date back to my first spring with my first ever digital camera. All of them were taken in our garden. At the moment, in real time, it’s just the first shoots, buds and leaves, and a carpet of violets, which is pretty but doesn’t really translate to a photo, so I really wanted to remind myself what is still coming.
These photos remind me of a life I wanted to have, but wasn’t meant to. It’s been almost ten years, but sometimes I still remember and sometimes it still hurts. I went for this walk every day. I miss the colours, now that I look and think about it. It was the best autumn ever. Actually, the only sunny, bright, warm autumn I remember at all. And I needed it badly.
I remembered it wrong, it’s not the same leaf, but I was trying. But almost.
I paid so much for every little morsel of a happy moment. And it is the same always, over and over again. The only difference now is that I can actually keep breathing and I can work and I can sort of live. Because I have to. At that time, that walk, and these photos, and a few motions to go through, took up all the energy I had.
The Fearful Dragon 